There are countless reasons why people don't take initiative in relationships. We're all busy. We're all distracted. Life gets in the way and we don't reach out.
Superconnectors do. They make an effort to start conversations and keep relationships going. This is perhaps the most important difference between the top 1% and the rest of us.
Something as basic as firing off a handful of simple text messages at the dog park can be a game-changer.
Lessons from Who Got Me Here
Tod Sacerdoti · 2x CEO with a $640M exit and early investments in unicorns
- For Tod, "networking" isn't the right word. It's about genuine, meaningful connections built by bringing people together around shared interests and passions.
- Our conversation was packed with insights about the value of being a host, why curation is a relationship-building superpower, and the importance of reminding people you're still alive.
Molly Graham · helped both Google and Facebook navigate intense scaling
- Her story is packed with lessons on the outsized power of being a friend and how curiosity can forge meaningful relationships quickly.
- Don't be the person who reaches out only when you need something. Check in with people when you don't need anything.
- We think people are busy and don't want that ping—but everyone wants the email or text letting them know they're top of mind.
Nick Mehta · CEO of Gainsight
- One of the worst ways to network is being transactional. Relationship building is about looking for ways to help other people.
- His great saying: the worst time to network is when you're looking for a job. The best time to network is always.
- Over ten years he's made roughly 10,000 intros. In life, you want to be in the business of doing favors—the more you give, the more you get back.
Putting it into practice
Over the next week, put 1–2 of these tactics into practice:
- Run a relationship refresh blitz — for a week or a month, reach out to a handful of people every day. Something as simple as "You crossed my mind, and I wanted to see how you're doing" can quickly become an interesting conversation.
- Plan your follow-ups — after a friendly conversation at an event or meeting, set a reminder for when you'll reach out and what you'll say. "Text Joanna about underrated Spanish wines" is plenty. The point is to keep the conversation going.
- Go to events — and participate — if you're trying to establish yourself in a community or industry, show up. Introduce yourself, ask people about themselves, and get in the mix.
- Be a host — there's incredible power in being the person who brings others together. A few happy hours or backyard barbecues with a small group of interesting people can forge connections that have a huge impact on your career.
