Most people hate networking because they think it involves springing a sales pitch on a total stranger, then having one sprung on you.
World-class networkers have a different framing. They rarely approach strangers. Instead, they connect with friends of friends. (See writer David Burkus’ TED talk for a great unpacking of this concept.)
The idea is simple. Everyone has a circle of friends they know well enough to ask for help. Because superconnectors keep tabs on who they know, it’s easy for them to reach out and ask who their friends know.
And that’s where the power of relationship-building shines. A typical person maintains about 150 friendly relationships. If you’re trying to break into a particular industry and you have five friends in that industry, thenyou have somewhere around 750 potential introductions available to you.
The trick is to know who your friends know, then have an effective way to make introductions happen. There are a number of ways to do this.
The second principle emphasized the importance of keeping a record of who you know and making it easy to sift through relationships to find people based on certain attributes. This is why. If you’re looking to hire a product manager, reach out to the product managers you know and see if they know someone. A quick email with a simple request can get the job done, as long as you have the people to email.
It’s no small thing to ask someone for help. For someone to want to spend their time and social capital making an introduction or sharing information with you, you’ve got to land a very strong ask. Superconnectors are very good at this. The trick is to make it easy, simple, and personal. Craft short but detailed requests that cut to the heart of the matter. Make it clear why you’re asking for the introduction, what’s in it for the person making it, and how the introduction will benefit the person you’re targeting. Include a simple note to be forwarded to the recipient, so it’s easy for your contact to follow through. And have the gumption to hit “send.”
Knowing who is a friend of a friend is powerful but hard to figure out. LinkedIn connections have become much less meaningful, and social media often doesn’t reflect our strongest relationships. Because Connect The Dots analyzes email data, our platform is a genuine record of who really knows who. If two people have been on many email threads together over many years, it’s safe to say they know each other. If you want to know who a particular friend knows, you can invite them to Connect The Dots and get an accurate list of their contacts, sorted by relationship strength.
Superconnectors don’t put their agenda first. They strike a balance between warm, personal catch-ups and requests for help. They think holistically about relationships and don’t pump people dry. You can do the same thing. In conversations, strike a balance between friendly chatting and getting down to business. Think about what you can do for your contacts. Offer to help them and don’t ask for anything in return. The point is to bank goodwill and make future asks easy.
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