When we sit down to talk with a leader about networking, the conversation almost always starts the same with the same two comments:
#1 A lot of long-lasting relationships are forged earlier in people's careers
#2 A lot of important relationships are built outside of work
This point is simple. If you rely on relationships to help you find opportunities, you need to build strong relationships first.
We heard again and again in our research about the power of being a good teammate, making friends, and taking the time to invest in other people.
It's not rocket science. But many people make the mistake of asking for help without credibility or shared history. The gulf between a loose acquaintance awkwardly asking for a favor and a friend asking for a hand is wide.
Be on the right side.
Who Got Me Here
Here are some valuable life lessons we learned from our guests this season.
Worked for Mark Zuckerberg, Bret Taylor, and Chamath
Throughout her career, Molly has spotted interesting people and dug deeper, inviting them to coffees, reaching out for insight, and staying in touch.
When meeting new people, it's important to remember there is something interesting about every person in this world; you just have to ask questions and listen to ask the next question.
She describes how you've got to build a system for staying in touch, your personal CRM.
When you move from one job to the next, add people to the list.
Don't be the person who reaches out only when you need something; check-in with people when you don't need anything
We think people are busy and don't want that ping, but everyone wants that email or text message letting them know you're top of mind.
Veere's journey reminds us of the David Brooks's saying, "Build identity capital. In your 20s you want to do three fascinating things that job interviewers and dinner companions will want to ask you the rest of your life."
The qualities of communication, kindness, empathy, the desire for excellence, the desire for always being on time, the desire for being disciplined, and the desire to not let people down. All those qualities are priceless when it comes to making dots.
Nick explained that one of the worst ways to network is being transactional. Relationship building is about looking for ways to help other people.
He said basically any customer success leader can reach out to him for job advice, and he almost always does it. He said he probably does 10-15 calls with people each week trying to help them do intros. Over the course of 10 years, he thinks he's probably made 10k intros. That is an extraordinary amount of goodwill!
Nick's story is a great lesson. In life, you want to be in the business of doing favors. When you gladly make warm intros between your contacts, they're more likely to return the favor and then some. The more you give, the more you get back!
Robin Dunbar found that the human brain can maintain ~150 friendships, 500 acquaintances, 1,500 known names, and 5,000 known faces.
When you meet people, look for common ground. Ask about their hometown, interests, education, worldview, musical tastes, and sense of humor. You can create a lasting friendship if you hit on just two of these.
Putting It Into Practice
Over the next week, put 1-2 of these tactics into practice. In the coaching notes document, write down what you learned from the experience.
Be a great colleague – Work hard, get things done, and go out of your way to help people at work—no matter where you are in your career.
Care about other people – Show interest in what others are doing. Support your peers—don't just manage up.
Think about Robin Dunbar's seven pillars of friendship - Ask people about hometown, family, interests, education or work experience, worldview, humor, or musical tastes. If you hit on two of those, you've got the beginnings of a lasting friendship.
Get involved in activities outside of work – Pick up a hobby. Join a team. Go to an event. Put yourself in situations where you can meet new people, and don't be afraid to introduce yourself.
Be genuine –Build authentic relationships, not hollow transactions. Set aside your ambitions and take the time to be a real friend. It pays.
Networking Masterclass
Over 7 weeks, we'll go deep into strategies for relationship building and creating a vastly bigger network.
If you want to make it stick, I advise forming a small group of 2-3 people interested in this Networking Masterclass idea. Pick a time to get together once a week for 40 minutes, and create a recurring calendar event. Similar to book club, doing this as a small group will help you hold each other accountable. You can hear other people's experiences trying out a tactic and find out what worked or didn't for them. Here is the coaching note template, which you can clone, and make your own.
